a hard day's day.

My head hurts from thinking too much today.

Literally, I can't clear it. There are so many ideas, plans, things to do, and what ifs, filling it. It weighs me down and makes it hard to feel even "just okay."

There are days when I can overcome the giant weight, but today it seems particularly hard. Work is slow, which doesn't help. The day moves like a snail, giving me way too much of its time on my hands.

Even with tremendous generosity of friends over the past week, and the house becoming much less cluttered and so much more liveable, I can't seem to enjoy the progress. I want to stay there, but I want to leave. Do I try to sell it, or get a roommate? Can I afford the re-fi or will it still be too much for me to handle on my own? Will I even qualify for the re-fi?

I don't know what to do.

I am grateful for options, but when all of the options kinda suck in their own way, maybe something needs to happen to make the path clear for me to travel the "right" way."

I am not even sure there is a "right way."

(insert whining sound here.)

Seriously though, how are you supposed to know what to do?

Life weighs heavily some days. Change is hard.

Maybe I just need to have faith that what will be, will be.