record of my life.

The fourth- and fifth-graders seemed interested - enough - as I talked to them yesterday about my job at the paper.

Somewhere between the story about photographing President Obama and one about being in a stunt plane, I heard what I was saying.

"I have been lucky enough to make a living doing something I really love to do, and having opportunities and experiences that I never would have, had I not chosen a career as a newspaper photographer.

"I still love what I do. Almost every single day. And I hope that each of you figure out what you love to do, and find a way to make a living doing it."

Wow, I thought. I really do love this. And man, am I lucky, or what?

I showed the kids a slide show of my past work. They were mildly impressed, and I found myself getting teary-eyed as I watched my photographs roll by to Springsteen's, "Your Own Worst Enemy." (Appropriate all on its own, BTW).

I have documented my life. Personally and professionally. I saw the people who have become part of that story. The Gillian family. Blago. Tiger. Richie. Megan.

The paper survived this week. Not by my hand, but those who settled for a lousy deal and the end of the union as we know it.

It was heart-wrenching. And besides 9-11, the absolutely worst day I have ever experienced in my professional life.

The good news is, the paper lives on for another day.

The bad news is, we have no idea how bad it's going to get.

I am a hopeful cynicist.

As I prepare for what very likely may be my last weeks or months at my paper, I am eternally grateful for the days I have enjoyed, and unafraid of what lies ahead.