welcome back.

I don't know if I was avoiding writing or just didn't have the time.

Perhaps just a little of both.

Softball season takes up most of our "free time." So in reality, free time has been relegated to rain outs and other Acts of God.

There's not enough of it.

I was on furlough this week. Without Pay (WOP) week. Staycation. Whatever you want to call it.

Like millions of others in this economy, I am facing a 9 percent paycut and eight days without pay. For a grand total of a 15 percent cut.

I like being off. But it's a bitter pill to swallow.

"At least you still have a job."
"It's better than a 100 percent pay cut."

Yes, I know that's all true. The X finally will be employed again, beginning Monday. It's of some relief. Financially, it has been a pretty rough five months, and I have worked almost seven days a week to make sure stuff gets paid.

There has GOT to be more to life than this. Doesn't there?

I met with Dr. KA yesterday. We talked about plans for my future.

"Do you even know what you want?" he asked.

"I want to be happy and peaceful," I said.

"Ummm, nope. You don't even know what that means," he replied.

He's right. and that is both frustrating and insightful.

I am not looking forward to getting back to work. I enjoy being with the girls, going on a field trip with Bec, hanging out at the library. Doing some "happy photography." Not rushing around like an idiot to make our full schedule of games. Seeing friends and having sleepovers.

It's all good.

It's time I do figure out what the "happy and peaceful" thing is all about.

Otherwise, how will I know how to get there?