being alone vs. being lonely.

I've decided I am not so good at being alone.

The girls are with their dad this week and I went into panic mode on Sunday, home from work with absolutely nothing that had to be done. Quite honestly, I didn't know what to do with myself.

I ended up falling asleep reading a book on the couch at about 7:45 PM. Then, I woke up at around 1AM to get myself into bed, and had the "toilet episode." A broken toilet, overflowing buckets of toilet water. It was awful. But at least it was something.

My friend Bob fixed it up for me the next day, as soon as I called and yelled "help" into his cellphone. You cannot put a price on a friend who also happens to be a plumber.

It's all better now, and I have officially settled into this weird, post-holiday hangover-funk that I can't seem to shake.

It's a weird time of the year for me, and I am seriously wondering if it ever won't be.

I'm from a big family, went to a giant high school and even bigger college. The only time I lived on my own was very, very briefly after college. Other than that, there's always been roommates, and then kids.

I know everyone will tell me, "Enjoy the quiet!" And sure enough the kids will be back driving me crazy before I know it.

But for now, this post-holiday stress disorder kinda sucks.

I am going to have to work at getting comfortable in my own skin, after a lifetime of never having been.

I guess it's about time.