Tuesday, December 2, 2008

God bless the delete button...

There are times when I am absolutely, without a doubt, certain that the dissolution of my marriage was in my best interest, and the best interest of my kids.

Don't get me wrong. It was painful and horrible and difficult and some days are still just a chore to get through. But overall, these shining moments of clarity let me know that I did indeed, make the best choice I could have.

Without going into details, Jess came home last night decked out in a very shiny gold metallic coat with a fur-lined hood, and a very big smile on her face after spending the evening with her dad.

I uttered a loud, "Hmm..." when I saw her jump out of the car, and not much else was said. Except for Jessie, who proudly announced, "Hi mom, do you like my new coat?" I said I did, the girls said goodnight to their dad and he took off.

The drop-off was followed up with an email later last night:

"Jessie looks like a homeless child most of the time when I pick her up. Her clothes are mismatched, she rarely has socks on and now the jacket. She tells me that she is wearing clothes like this to school and I don't understand."

I'll suffice it to say that I pick my battles with the kids and when Jess wants to wear a particular coat, as long as it's clean and it's not dragging along on the ground behind her, then I don't worry much about it.

I guess that when two people can't really talk to each other the way normal adults do, situations like this are unavoidable. An uncomfortable exchange that is best left in it's electronic form.

The delete button gets pressed and harmful words are gone, returned forever to cyberspace.

As much as I wish that sometimes life had its own "delete" button, I am trying (really hard) to spin the negative into positive these days.

And I'm absolutely positive that when I followed my heart, it didn't let me down.

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