joe & deb.

Tonight, I went out with some truly awesome people. My friends from Divorce Care. They are new-ish when it come to friendship, but in some aspects I feel like I've known them forever.

They make me laugh harder than I have in along time. We make jokes, pick on each other and share observations and advice. Most of all, we enjoy each other's company.

Our regular weekly meetings ended two weeks ago. I miss the camaraderie and support I had grown to count on.

When you bare your souls on a weekly basis, you learn a lot about yourself and others. As a group, I like to think we emerged stronger and more hopeful about the future.

Tonight, we got to hear the love story of Joe & Deb. Deb is the DC group leader; Joe is her husband. The pair are celebrating their first wedding anniversary this week.

When Joe joined DC, he was the only guy in a group of 24. After the session ran its course, Joe and Deb ran into each other, and then made plans with others to go out as a group. Eventually, Joe would ask Deb out, and Deb would show up with her girlfriend until she figured out that Joe just wanted to actually "date." The girlfriend stopped coming along, and Joe & Deb fell in love and got married; the second time for both of them.

If only it were that simple.

As Deb told their story tonight, I learned a couple of important things.

First, you never know what will happen.

And, before Joe & Deb got married, they talked. A lot. About everything. And I do mean everything. It was important to both of them to lay it all out on the table.

Then, something Joe said, that Deb swore she'd never forget:

"You know, there are no guarantees."

At best, Joe explained, when you get married, you have a 50 percent chance of making it work.

This wasn't based on divorce statistics or a study, it was just Joe's own keen observation. You can invest yourself in a marriage 100 percent, he said. But you are only one person in a relationship where you are responsible for 50 percent of its success or failure.

Wow, not good odds, we all thought. But absolutely true.

The second time around has the benefit of past experience to learn from. I hope that isn't lost on my friends as they move ahead into new lives filled with new experiences.

But more than that, I hope everyone was listening tonight as Joe & Deb took their turn sharing.