spinning.

It freaks me out, but happens so often, it's impossible to ignore.

Dr. Kickass and Pastor Tim were reading from the same manual this week.

Dealing with my junk. Thinking I can handle everything on my own.

KA called it "sitting and spinning."
PT called it the "spin cycle."

Either way, the cycle of spinning on something that is not healthy for you, or not right in the eyes of God detracts from the life that was truly meant for you.

I spin a lot. About all sorts of things, none of which make me particularly proud or content. I argued this week that slowing down the spin was progress. The good doctor begged to differ.

PT said that when you regularly and systematically engage in anything that goes against God and runs your life... any addiction at all... it sucks your time, your energy and your spirit dry.

So this week, as I find myself with extra time to slow down, relax and contemplate, I am taking their words to heart, and turning to the one place that can and will respond.

Help.

this is the year.

I feel a huge wave of change ahead.

I am not even sure of what all will happen. But I am certain it's going to be big.

The year is off to a great start. I've reconnected with old friends and met some new ones. There's the occasional running, which clears my head and strengthens my body. I finally can breathe outward about many challenges that consumed way too much time and energy in my life. I have new challenges that all fall in the W column, regardless of the outcome.

I haven't felt this positive in a very long time.

And the weirdest thing about all this is I am actually seeing opportunities as they arrive. They are numerous and crystal clear.

I'm not looking at them, fuzzy and out of focus, in a rear-view mirror. I'm not spending time second-guessing and worrying about which path to take.

I am doing.

Really, really wonderful things happen when you are able to open you eyes, your ears, your mind and your heart. When you ask God to make the path clear so that you know where you are headed.

I don't expect that this year will be free of roadblocks both small and large.

But I finally feel free to know that it will be all good. In good time.

the love project.

1 Corinthians 13

"1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails."

Visit www.1C13.org for a project that takes 14 weeks to complete.

The project's creator, a friend of PT's daughter, is a new believer who is absorbing the Bible for the first time. He decided to put faith into action by concentrating on one aspect of love from Corinthians 1:13 each week for 14 weeks. Parkview is encouraging us to do the same: making God the center of your world and experience His immense love for each of us.

I think this is a wonderful project. It takes a concept and breaks it down into pieces that are relative and do-able. It's a tangible way to experience the intangible.

It's patience week this week. If you are anything like me, opportunities to practice patience are abound.

But most importantly, I have to have patience with God. Part of living a full life is surrendering the control you think you have over your life (you really have none) and passing it on to the guy who has the roadmap. His travel plans may be different than mine.

I want to accept that.

Patience.

a decade to remember.

The past 10 years have been significant to me in many, many ways. Particularly in the area of photography.

I started at the Sun-Times on December 27, 2009. Just in time for the millenium. I have been blessed with many wonderful experiences, none of which I would trade, and all which have defined me personally and professionally.

So, my "photos of the decade" encompass some of my best work as a photojournalist. Ever.

It's been a great ride:



Workers dig in the remains of the Milestone Tap, where several people were killed in Utica, IL where a tornado hit in 2004. This photo ran simultaneously in the front page of the Sun-Times and Chicago Tribune after Shamus Toomey and I (but mostly Shamus) weasled our way into being the press pool for the governor's visit to the site. And to this day, is the biggest coup of my career!




Tiger Woods reacts as he just misses a birdie putt on two Sunday during the final round of the PGA Championship at Medinah in 2004. And before his wife brought him to his knees in 2009. Poor Tiger.



George Ryan leaves Dirksen after being convicted on 22 counts Monday in 2006. That's Jose More's camera on the right. He missed this shot... sorry Jose!




With workers shoveling behind him, a man talks to his wife, victim of an overturned gravel truck Tuesday to a helicopter at the intersection of 159-Pulaski in Markham in 2005. No life-threatening injuries were sustained. Fire personnel rescued the woman and her baby. One of the best spot news photos I ever drove into. Ever.



Marines arrive at the Marine Sgt. Jeanette Winter's home in Gary to talk with the family in January 2002. This was the first fatality in our area from a war that continues to rage on, eight years later. Yes, eight years.



First place men's finisher Robert Cheruiyot slips as he crosses the finish line in the LaSalle Bank Chicago Marathon in 2006 with a time of 02:07:35. He sustained fairly serious injuries in the fall. It's probably the best sports photo I ever was lucky enough to shoot.



White Sox Paul Konerko is congratulated by teammates Carl Everett, Tadahito Iguchi and Jermaine Dye after seventh inning grand slam in the 2005 World Series Game 2 at Comiskey. I thank Tom Cruze for offering me his seat at third base while he went to send some pics. I will never forget this night as long as I live. Go Sox!



Adam Flaherty, 5, looks for reassurance from his mom Karen Tuesday afternoon before entering Ogden School for his first day of kindergarten in 2000. Cute.



The best there ever was. The best there ever will be.



From left, Illinois Luther Head, Dee Brown, Jack Ingram, Deron Williams and James Augustine talk in the first half vs. UW-Milwaukee in 2005, on the road to the NCAA Championship. Illinois beat UW-Milwaukee 77-63, but lost to stinkin' North Carolina in St. Louis in the Championship. I am 0-2 for NCAA Championship series with my dear alma mater. I still hope that three times will be the charm.



Mourners, including daughter Megan Conlon, at left clutching her dad's fire helmet, watch for the funeral procession for Chicago Fire Department Lt. Scott Gillen to arrive at St. John Fisher Church in Chicago in 2000. Perhaps my favorite image of all time, since it still makes me tear up when I look at it. I hope these girls, who are now nine years older, are living good lives.



A couple enjoys an old-fashioned drive-in movie date in a '57 DeSoto at the Cascade Drive-In in West Chicago in 2001.



Mary Weaver, assistant stylist, center reacts with the rest of the crowd at at Laura's Hair Salon, 9858 S, Vincennes, as President Obama arrives at his swearing-in in 2009. Sweet.



WWII Veteran Arco Ciancanelli of Glenwood talks about his war days, in light of benefits he has yet to receive from his service. He received the Distinguished Service Cross to recognize his service. He was a character I will never forget. He received all his benefits after this story ran, and he died about six months later.



Mallory Gross, a pre-kindergartner at Brennemann School in Chicago tries to see around Lincoln Park Zoo gorilla Makari as she snacks of popcorn, honey and peanut butter with Rollie, a gorilla, who was re-introduced to her habitat in 2005 at Lincoln Park Zoo, after being treated in isolation for an illness the past few weeks.

Always good to end on a high note.

May you be blessed with happiness, prosperity and good health in the year ahead.

And may your photos all be worth 1000 words.

going home.

Today we head back to Chicago from a wonderful Christmas shared with my sister and her family.

This was a fantastic trip. We were able to stay for five days. The kids all got along, for the most part. And Christmas was as magical as ever, with Santa dropping extra goodies down the chimney here in the foothills of Denver.

Chrissy's family and extended family are fun, warm, loving people. Doug's mom and sister are really like my very own family members. I've known them for well over 20 years now. And their brother-in-law Gus, and his parents are great people all on their own.

It felt as good as being at home.

But today we leave, and it's the part I dislike about visiting. Having to say good-bye.

It's never been easy for me, all the 17+ years Chrissy's been out here. Try as I might, she's not moving back to Chicago. And with all that I have in Chicago, it's not likely I will be moving out west anytime soon.

Time to shake off the sad feelings though, and be thankful that this trip was as beautiful as it was. We got out here safe and sound, despite bad weather on both ends. We were embraced by our Denver family, and were able to spend quality time with people we love.

And that's really what it's all about.

re-soul-utions.

Time for the end of the year. The end of a decade, even. Time for reflection on which direction I am headed. Up, down or straight ahead.

I am going for the up route in 2010. Had enough of the down and certainly straight ahead just means more of the same. I am finding it harder and harder to settle for that these days.

Where are you? Where are you headed?

Where do you want to be?

I have asked these questions of myself a lot more in the past year. More than ever before. The answers have changed throughout this year. It's gone from," Ohhhh, I don't know..." (insert wallowing whine here) to "It's time." Like, now.

I can feel the change, and that is a very good thing. I feel the readiness, the willingness and the necessity converging into a very big year ahead.

I resolve to make myself healthier in 2010: physically, mentally and spiritually. That comes with both small and big commitments: eating better, exercising more, being present in my own life, taking care of myself, and embracing change.

Those are the general ideas. The sub-categories are far more detailed and numerous. But you probably get the idea.

Without goals, it will be hard to get anywhere. So I choose to make myself "publicly" accountable.

In my future: an 8K race. muscles. a clear head. more meaningful relationships. fewer commitments. a new home. new work to do.

And peace.

How about you?

comfort and joy.

I love this time of the year. I love it more than I ever have because I feel like I finally get it. Or I am at least "getting" it.

Christmas is so much more than I ever knew. The depth of God's love and sacrifice has never been so clear to me as it is right now.

Is it because I am paying attention? Calming life down a few notches to look around, take in and enjoy? Taking time to listen, to hear and to understand?

All of the above.

Priorities are funny things. They can seem to re-arrange themselves in my life purely on their own, when in reality I am choosing my priorities every single day. Consciously or not.

Yep. I am finally getting it.

This season, my priority has been to truly understand the meaning of Christmas, and share it with people I love.

When the love is returned, it feels like I comes back to me ten-fold.

Whether it is Gabi dancing in the kitchen with Jim and Jack. Or the look on Don's face when he opens up his gift. Or hearing laughter coming from the basement as my daughters enjoy their friends.

In those moments, I feel loved.

And yes. I get it.